Clover

Clover

Woke up with the sweat
that doesn’t make me squirm
     Not anymore.
From that dream of translucent cobras curled round
black widow spiders blue
audible contractions as it squeezed
     and I know full well cobras do
not constrict
     but there it was.

Skunk Anansie Charlie Big Potato low through Sony speakers
laid horizontal on the floor
those vibrations may contribute
to the hallucinatory dream states
     at 2:42 am.
Severed heads collected and stored in freezers like that serial killer
or that serial killer
from a Netflix docu-series

It doesn’t set a good example for the children,
     she told me,
sleeping in the basement.
She has stopped telling me so often
     Lately
Reminds me to take my pills at breakfast
the other before bed.

There was a boy in a bucket
     I poured lukewarm water over his head with a Styrofoam cup
He looked up at me
then down.

Asked me what I do for work
Told him a mid-level marketing manager
for a mid-size company in the Midwest.
Gave him a pat on the head.
     ‘Don’t pat the head of an astronaut.’ ‘How old are you?’ ‘Seven.’

My daughter dropped her spoon
Clanked on the floor
she started crying.

Astronaut gone
She ate Lucky Charms
New spoon.
Kissed her head
     told her accidents happen.

It’s not healthy, she told me,
to feed our children
sugary cereal.
We shouldn’t feed sugary cereal to our child, I responded.
     She slapped me,
     told me to fuck off with my syntax.

A bird flew into the window
Lucy went to it
watched it die.
I told her the bird was fine.

It’s not good, my wife told me, to lie to the children.

Child.

Lucy colored a cardboard box
     Birds and nests and seeds
I told her how pretty it was.
She asked if Birdie would like it
Of course.
Filled the box
with branches plum with pinecones

I’ve run knives
through a large piece of plywood.
Cut handles
Secured them with masking tape
     When it’s time I will place it on the trampoline
     climb out our bedroom window
     dive backwards from the roof and see whose side God is on.

When the time is right.

My responsibility
to dig a grave for Birdie
Told them after work
They countered ‘now’
I countered ‘lunch’
I’ll be late today

The flower garden
My wife
Lucy, box
Me, a spade

The boy in the bucket
watched me dig.
     ‘Call me Danny.’ ‘I’m not going to call you Danny.’ ‘I know about the trampoline, do they?’

Elasticity will keep me safe
Cutting shallow into the flesh.

‘90 miles an hour down I-55 and a jerk of the steering wheel into a guardrail halfway to New Orleans is the way to do it.’
     Danny had thought this through


Work
Dead bird residuals on the steering wheel
Parked nearest the exit
Don’t trust those people
with “VP” or “C” in titles.

The vampire girls in graphic design
keep the lights off
Southeast end for marketing
Southwest sales
     High wall cubicles
We are not brave to battle vampires
     The company has found room in the budget for desk lamps

Redhead dyed office administrator gives ballpoint pens
company name
company logo
Shows her cleavage
     Make the men ravenous
     Make the women jealous
     She’s got age, going to turn

Man who calls himself boss
converted an office to a ‘thinking’ room.
Flowy flowery art walls
     Keurig
     Mini fridge
Sales and finance actively undermining effort.
My manager walked behind my cubicle
     kicked my chair
     Grunted
     then left for Canada.

30-minute lunch
A goose nesting by bushes
Sub sandwich
in random office parking lot
Returned
Watched the CEO smash the eggs
chase the goose.
‘I would have broken its neck if I could’ve caught it’
Laughed,
then got into his Porsche.

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